Dib Through The Mirror
by cgaussie
Summary: Dib is sucked back into Wonderland by his reflection, where he encounters races, Nny the Red King, Lice... but there's more to come for our big headed friend. Chapter Four is HERE! Steve Ressel, Squee 'n Shmee have cameos.
1. Chapter One: The Mirror and the Caucus R...

Dib Through The Mirror  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
Notes: Yes, this is the sequel to the fanfic written by Spectra, entitled 'Dib in Wonderland'. What, you think we'd give up after having him go through THAT hell? Hah! Nice try. Some old favourites return in the sequel, as well as some unexpected faces. Be afraid, be very afraid…  
Now that's over with, let the madness, begin.  
  
~*~  
  
**Chapter One: The Mirror and the Caucus Race**  
  
The chess board lay out, untouched on the table. It hadn't been touched in years, and Dib had recently just found it in the attic and decided to set it down in the living room, in the hopes either Gaz or his Dad would take up the opportunity to play with him. He was wrong. It had sat there for a good two weeks, and still it laid untouched. The Whites and Reds facing off at each other, and now Dib sat on the sofa staring at the pieces.  
  
"…maybe I should start a game with myself… nah, that's too crazy." Dib mused to himself as he watched a fly land on the White King's head and proceed to clean itself. "Then again, my life isn't exactly normal…" he added. He had made a normal every day event of talking to himself, since it was the only decent way to get a good conversation or any conversation in his house. Either it involved games, pizza, soda or science. And he grew tired of all eventually.  
  
He felt his eye lids getting heavy, and a yawn escaped his mouth as he rubbed his eyes. But Dib had recently encountered a very bizarre dream, and something told him that if he ever chanced falling asleep again, he'd go back there. So, Dib had been up every night since the horrible incident. And that was three weeks ago. Bags hung under his eyes, and his body was screaming for rest. But Dib's mind kept on reassuring the body that if they did go to sleep, horrible nasty doom-related pains would be inflicted upon them.  
  
Up to now it had worked. Unfortunately Dib's body finally gave in, and he fell asleep, slumping down onto the sofa and falling into a deep deep sleep. Well he thought as much. A few minutes later his eyes flashed open and he sat up, not just because he was afraid of the dreams again, but he heard something.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
It was someone tapping, obviously. He glanced at the door, got off the sofa and went to answer it. He opened it, only to find nobody was stood there. He glanced up and down the pavement.  
  
"…little punks." He muttered as he closed the door shut again. He turned back into the room, and he heard the tapping again, louder then before.  
  
TAP. TAP. TAP.  
  
"Who is it? Who's there?" Dib asked, his paranormal senses on high alert as the hair on the back of his neck started standing up. Something was happening, and it wasn't good. Answer came there none. And this was scarcely odd because, well no one else was in the room at all. Well, someone was there, just not in.  
  
**_TAP. TAP. TAP._  
  
**Dib spun around on his heels towards where the sound was, it was coming from the mirror.  
  
"…where did that mirror come from?" he asked aloud as he stared at it. He was right, it hadn't been there the day before, and it was gold rimmed and looked very old and antique like. "Maybe Dad got it today and didn't tell me or Gaz… but it isn't involving his image so…" Dib took a few tensive steps towards it, when suddenly a face greeted him in the mirror. It wasn't Dib, yet it was…  
  
"YARGH!" Dib screamed and stood back in shock as the face grinned wickedly at him. He wasn't grinning wickedly, so why was his reflection grinning like that? And why did his reflection have such messy hair, torn clothing and weird looking boots?  
  
"Well it's about time you got your rear end over here!" screamed the reflection at Dib, who was just shaking in fear.  
  
"Who-who are you?!" Dib asked, his body telling him to just run and not stop to ask such stupid questions, but Dib's darn curiosity was getting the better of him. The cat was about to be killed.  
  
"Well duh dude, I'm you." Replied the reflection, who then began biting it's nails.  
  
"No you're not! My head isn't THAT big!" Dib snapped back, pointing at his reflection's head. Course, the reflection's head was the same size as his, he just didn't like admitting his head was over sized.  
  
"HEY DON'T INSULT MY HEAD MAN!!" screamed the reflection who immediately stopped biting his nails and stood up, now fully visible in the mirror.  
  
"Uh uh… so-sorry…!" Dib stammered in response, but then the unthinkable happened. His reflection leapt out from the mirror! Just like it was a doorway, the reflection Dib leapt out and landed in front of Dib, grinning madly still. Dib did what any normal person would do. Scream like a little girl and try to run. But his efforts of getting away were thwarted as his reflection grabbed him by the arm, and leapt back up to the mirror.  
  
"Hey what are you doing?! Let me go!! Don't make me tell you again!!" Dib screamed hysterically as he kicked his legs, trying to get a kick at his reflection. The reflection just chuckled happily, and tossed Dib through the mirror.  
  
"I knew I should have stayed in bed today…" Dib thought to himself as he went sailing through the mirror, and into the other world.  
  
It was dark in the other world, barely no light was visible. The only light, was now and again a flash of lightning in the far distance, and the only sound the rumble of thunder.  
  
Dib was falling.  
  
"Oh great… not this again!" Dib yelled up at the darkness, "Is this all you got this time? Used up all your madness the first time so now I'm just gonna keep falling forever or something?! Well bring on your worst! I took on all that stuff before and I'll take it on again!" Dib just kept screaming at the darkness, unaware of the Slurpies he was passing as he fell, or the red crown or white crown.  
  
KER-SPLASH!  
  
Water, water water everywhere. Dib had landed quicker then he thought he would, so he wasn't ready for when wave upon wave gushed down onto him, filling his mouth with salty, icky water. He fought the currents, spitting out any of the nasty sea water that had crept into his mouth. The young boy flailed his arms and legs, trying to keep above the water, but nothing was working yet. He kept being pulled under. It seemed the more he swam, the more he sunk.  
  
"Well… this is it… and to think, I didn't even get to save the world from Zim… maybe Gaz'll find my findings and go on against him for me… maybe…" Dib's eyes shut and he… Was floating on top of the water as if the storm wasn't happening?!  
  
"What's going on here?!" Dib asked no one in particular. Maybe he was talking to the mouse that was just swimming past…  
  
"Wait a minute, Mouse?!" Dib glanced after the furry body that was making it's way through the waves, not swimming either. Just floating. An idea hit Dib in the head, grab onto the Mouse and it might take him to freedom. So, Dib tried to get to the Mouse, but the Mouse vanished from sight!  
  
"Oh no…" he muttered, seemed nothing was going his way, as usual. "This place is stupid!!" he screamed, but then bumped into something. Something furry, and wet.  
  
"Mouse!" Dib declared as he saw a flash of large ears and big eyes. The mouse just squeaked in response, and before it knew anything it had a new appendage. A big headed boy gripping onto it's tail. Soon the storm died down, and Dib found himself on a beach, along with the mouse who now was beginning to look more and more like a familiar face.  
  
"What the…" Dib started, but the Mouse-being turned to face him. He did know that face! "Old Kid?!"  
  
"Old Kid? Who's Old Kid?" wheezed the Mouse, it's fur a unusual grey brownish colour.  
  
"Oh.. uh… nothing, you just, kinda looked like someone I knew…" replied Dib, who just looked more confused now because the Mouse was now dry, while he was still sopping wet after his adventure in the sea.  
  
"Oh. Well come on then, I've got an important lecture to give, and everyone of high standards will be there!" The Mouse declared, helping Dib to his feet.  
  
"Lecture… what?" Dib tried to get an answer out of the Old Mouse, but the Old Mouse, who seemed to be going deaf turned and started walking towards the jungle which lay out in front of them. The jungle looked familiar, like Dib had been there before… in the distance he thought he saw a flash of red and purple, but they were gone as quickly as they appeared. So, Dib followed the Old Mouse, even though he had no idea where the old thing was leading him.  
  
And he was even more surprised when he found that at some point, they had walked into a huge library. Well, it was a normal sized library, but since Dib was now probably the size of a Mouse, it seemed huge. The Old Mouse was now muttering to itself as it walked along, Dib tailing him, leaving a trail of water behind him.  
  
"What am I going to talk about… what am I going to do…" he glanced back at Dib, to make sure he was still there. "But the only thing I'll talk about you can be sure it isn't new though!" he declared happily, as if talking about an old subject was good.  
  
"Uh… all right then?" Dib asked. From his previous experience in a weird place, he was trying his best to fight the urge to ask question upon question. But it seemed the Old Mouse could hardly walk let alone talk. Finally they stopped near a chalk board, which on the words read "Slurpies".  
  
"Slurpies…?" Dib mouthed to himself. Then Old Mouse took a stand besides him.  
  
"Ah, here they are now!" he declared happily. But then he turned to Dib, as if just realising. "What's your name anyway?"  
  
"Dib." Dib replied as he tried to see anyone approaching. Anyone normal anyway.  
  
"Oh… such a shame." Old Mouse replied.  
  
"Why is that a shame?" Dib turned to look at Old Mouse, then back again to where he was gazing and was shocked to see a small assembly of four people sat there. They resembled four students from his class… Melvin, Chunk, Mathew and Sarah. But they were all dressed quite oddly. Melvin wore clothing in the colours of grey with speckled black and brown, and a thick wooly scarf around his invisible neck. He also had a walking cane in one hand, and seemed very tired. Sarah was dressed very fancy like, but old lady fancy like. Colours of red, blue and green. And her hat had long red feathers sticking from the back. While Chunk just wore a dark brown jacket over a brown waist coat, and black pants with big boots. Lastly, Mathew wore a hat made of paper on his head, and mostly yellow clothing.  
  
"Who are they…?" Dib asked Old Mouse,  
  
"Oh that doesn't matter now. What matters now is you're wet, and my lecture is the dryest thing I've ever heard, and it will soon get you dry! Take a seat between Mr. Dodo and Ms. Lory." Old Mouse shooed Dib to the group, and he took a seat between Melvin and Sarah. Ms. Lory looked disgusted to have a wet Dib sit besides her, as did Mr. Dodo, both scooted away. Either his large head disturbed them, or they didn't want to get wet.  
  
"Now let me clear my throat." Old Mouse declared, and coughed a few times, hacking up a brown fur ball which missed hitting Mathew in the head. "All right then!" Old Mouse, then produced some notes from his jacket pocket and began reading loudly. "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the Pope, was soon submitted-"  
  
"URGH!" Ms. Lory just stood up suddenly and yelled, in a mixture of disgust and bewilderment. Old Mouse stared at her, as did everyone else in the room.  
  
"Did you speak?" Old Mouse asked, somewhat annoyed.  
  
"…I don't think so!" she replied, sitting down again. Old Mouse continued.  
  
"Anyway. Was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the ears of Merica and Northumbria, declared for him and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable-" once again he was interupted, this time by Mathew, known as Mr. Duck.  
  
"Found what?" he asked loudly, causing the group to look at him.  
  
"Found IT." Old Mouse replied, "Of course you know what 'it' means!" he snapped. Mr. Duck looked confused for a moment.  
  
"I know what 'it' means well enough, I'm not stupid!" Mr. Duck said, "it's generally a frog, or a worm! My question is what did the archbishop find?" Mr. Mouse seemed to ignore this question, and turned his head to Dib.  
  
"How are you now? Any drier?" he asked, remembering the wet boy. Dib had sat quietly, trying to make sense of Old Mouse's lecture but so far was more muddled then before. He blinked out of his thoughts, and felt his hair.  
  
"I'm still wet… it isn't drying me at all." Dib replied, folding his arms.  
  
"Oh, well that's not good." Old Mouse replied. Suddenly Mr. Dodo got to his feet quickly.  
  
"In that case, I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more envergetic remedies to-" Mr. Dodo started, sounding highly unlike his normal loud happy self that Melvin was known for, was stopped by Mr. Eaglet – also known as Chunk.  
  
"Speak English!" he declared. Mr. Dodo scratched his head.  
  
"What I was going to say, was that the best thing to get the big headed kid here dry,"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Would be, a Caucus-Race!" Mr. Dodo declared, his head coming off from his neck as he cheered out the name of the race happily. This seemed to get quite a reaction.  
  
"A Caucus-Race!" declared Ms. Lory, jumping to her feet.  
  
"Oh I love a Caucus-Race!" Mr. Eaglet declared, who started doing sit ups, as if getting ready.  
  
"Wait a minute, what's a Caucus-Rcae?" Dib asked,  
  
"I'll pack a few things." Ms. Lory said as she ran past Dib.  
  
"Now you're talking!" Mr. Duck replied happily.  
  
"YES I am talking!" Dib yelled above the hubbub as the four kids lined up besides him. "What IS a Caucus-Race?" Dib asked anyone, and Old Mouse was nice enough to answer.  
  
"The best way to explain a Caucus-Race, is to do it! On your MARK!"  
  
Everyone got on their mark.  
  
"Get set!"  
  
Everyone got set.  
  
"GO!"  
  
The race had begun, but was it really a race? The four kids ran off in different directions, laughing hysterically or singing about a sandwich. They ran around books, over books, even defyed the laws of gravity at some point. Dib could only watch in confusement as the race continued, and he saw Mr. Eaglet trip up Mr. Duck.  
  
"Hey, they're cheating!" Dib declared, pointing at Mr. Eaglet who ran off in another direction quickly.  
  
"Heh, that's a Caucus-Race!" Old Mouse replied happily. But then he was grabbed by the wrists by Mr. Dodo and Mr. Duck.  
  
"We declare you a prisioner of war!" Mr. Dodo declared, and the two started kicking Old Mouse in the legs as Ms. Lory and Mr. Eaglet joined in.  
  
"Wait, wait!" Old Mouse screeched, and pointed to a small figurene that resembed Peepi, normal Peepi, oh yeah. "The finishing post!" he declared. Everyone stopped kicking him, and he was very glad for that.  
  
"Who's won? Who's won?" Ms. Lory asked blankly,  
  
"Why, everyone won! And we gotta get PRIZES!" Mr. Dodo's head once again hovered from his body before dropping back onto his neck again.  
  
"But who's going to give us prizes?" Mr. Duck asked, scratching his head.  
  
"…Dib will!" Ms. Lory declared turning to face Dib, her hand outstretched towards him. As did everyone else.  
  
"Huh?" Dib was for one, surprised that he was the one who was to give out prizes. "I, I don't have any prizes…" he replied meekly. This seemed to anger everyone.  
  
"What?! No prizes?!" Old Mouse declared, who coughed up another fur ball afterwards.  
  
"We're supposed to get prizes!" Ms. Lory screeched, stomping her foot down on the ground.  
  
"LET'S GET HIM!!" Mr. Duck screamed, pulling a paper sword from a pocket.  
  
"ARGH!" Dib screamed, and soon went from sitting to running in about one second flat.  
  
Dib just ran, it was the best thing he could do in this situation, isn't it? I mean, a group of four kids armed with… well, one armed with a paper sword but the others still had sticks so they could beat him! Soon he ran out of the library, when he had no idea but soon he found himself running in the woods. Trouble is, he seemed not to be getting anywhere. He looked down at his feet, yes, they were moving. But the scenery around him wasn't moving at all! Heck, he was looking at the same squirrel for about five minutes before he finally gave up trying to run, and collapsed on the ground.  
  
THEN he was somewhere else.  
  
"…this place is confusing!" Dib exclaimed to himself. Even though he knew this already, so his eyes wandered around the area. He then noted the ground. It was grass, but it was as hard as cement and it was made out like a checkers board. Meaning, there were squares made out in a pattern, but instead of white and red, it was dark green and light green.  
  
"…gotta admit their gardner's good." Dib muttered to himself, as he got to his feet and began walking casually. Now this got him somewhere. He was watching some weird looking insects buzzing around, he swore he saw a rocking horse fly buzzing around. Well, all he could do now is wander around and wait to see where he ended up now, sure he was scared out of his wits but he had to get somewhere, and fast. He might end up stuck this time, because he had no idea how to wake himself out of this place. It was easy before, but now… now no one was there to wake him up.  
  
"I'll be stuck here forever!" he thought suddenly, "Stuck in this horrible place… full of maddness and stupid things… kinda like home but still…" So, Dib kept on walking, and talking into the jungle, not knowing who or what he'll run into.

  
  


  
To be continued, dun dun dunnnnnn!!!!


	2. Chapter Two: Tweedle Red and Tweedle Pur...

Chapter Two: Tweedle Red and Tweedle Purple Decided to Have a Battle 

The jungle was quite dark, and scary. A sudden screech from an animal too close to comfort soon sent Dib into a mad race to get away from it, but he was eventually stopped.  
  
BANG!  
  
It seems he was always running into things around here, Dib found himself sprawled out on the ground, rubbing his noggin. He shook his head, dismissing the would be headache and sat up. "Ow." He said simply, rubbing his noggin some more. He was about to look up at what he ran into, but he heard the voice before he could see and the very sound of the voice made his eyes grow wider.  
  
"Oh NO! Not again! I just got it fixed!" claimed the voice of the creature he had ran into. Dib's eyes slowly went from the ground upwards, and found himself looking directly into the frowning face of...  
  
"Tweedle Red..." he muttered to himself. Indeed it was, Tweedle Red, and his hover skirt, once again, had a dent where Dib's head had met it.  
  
"It serves you right!" declared Tweedle Purple as he approached the two, the remains of a smoke machine in his hands.  
  
"It does not serve me right! How does it serve me right? I didn't get anything, so I wasn't served!" Tweedle Red snapped back, folding his arms snobbishly and looking away from Tweedle Purple.  
  
"What did I do to deserve this?!" Dib thought to himself, he had hoped he'd never see these loonies again but here they were; and there wasn't any way out of here yet.  
  
"You broke my smoke machine so you deserve to have your hover skirt broken!" Tweedle Purple snapped back, before dropping the machine onto the ground. Dib looked at it, and realised it was very broken, and very old.  
  
"Oh come on now... be reasonable." Dib got to his feet, and looked up at Tweedle Purple. "It's an old smoke machine!" he said, pointing at it, then he picked it up. It thus turned to dust in his hands, he blinked in surprise. Purple just looked shocked as well, not just at it disentigrating in Dib's hands, but what Dib had said.  
  
"Old?! OLD?!" Tweedle Purple glared down at Dib, and leaned down so they were face to face, he put a slender finger to Dib's chest. "I should throw you into an air lock for that! It isn't old, it's brand NEW! I bought it yesterday, you know when we last ran into each other! He broke it!" Tweedle Purple stood up to his full height again and pointed a slender finger at Tweedle Red.  
  
"Oh YOU threw it!" Tweedle Red snapped back, on the verge of a hissy fit.  
  
"You made me throw it, you and your silly laser!" Tweedle Purple cried, tears brimming his eyes.  
  
"How pathetic..." Dib thought.  
  
"I GOT IT!" Tweedle Purple declared, making Tweedle Red and Dib stand off in surprise by his sudden outburst.  
  
"What? Get a new one?" Dib asked hopefully, so he could get away before he'd get injured or worse.  
  
"Oh no, nothing as simple as that." Tweedle Purple replied with a wave of his hand, "No. We must have a battle." He added. "In the honour... of the Tweedle's." he sounded and looked very noble as he said this. Red scoffed.  
  
"Pft. I'm not battling in my condition! I have.. a headache!" Tweedle Red put a hand to his head and acted faint. "Oh, catch me! I'm going to faint!" he declared, course, no one attempted to catch him so he ended up on the ground. "Ow."  
  
"Well I have a toothache! That makes us even." Tweedle Purple replied. He turned to Dib, "You, what's your name again?"  
  
"Dib... and wait, we didn't meet yesterday, we met-" Dib was cut off by Tweedle Purple suddenly lifting him up into the air.  
  
"Dib, you are to help us prepare for our battle! You know, to help us protect our vital organs." Tweedle Purple set him back down as Tweedle Red got to his feet, really having a headache now.  
  
"Good grief." Dib muttered.  
  
Dib found armour, well, what would be considered armour. Old pots, pans and etcetera were scattered near a would be dump. He was now tying a pan to Tweedle Red's front who was now covered in metal, with an old stove pipe holder as a helmet, and in his claws he held a giant eye dropper thingie.  
  
"If I die, I'll remember you in my will Purple. No money, course. It'll just say I remember you..." Red was explaining as Dib stopped tying the pan. Meanwhile Tweedle Purple was just as covered in metal pots, pans and silverware. He had a saucer on his head, with a tie tied around it's handle.  
  
"I'd still prefer money!" Tweedle Purple snapped back, picking up his giant Q-Tip.  
  
"Are you sure you couldn't just buy a new smoke machine?" Dib asked Tweedle Purple.  
  
"Oh come on, we must have a bit of a fight. It's either this or poetry." Tweedle Purple replied.  
  
"Oh let's do poetry! I learnt a new one!" Tweedle Red declared, rushing up to the two. "It's called, Ms. Taryn and Ms. Cartman's Girl. It's about sand, surf, moons, suns and slurpies!"  
  
"Oh not that one..." Tweedle Purple groaned. Dib seemed to agree, even if he didn't know the poem already.  
  
"I'd rather not..." Dib said,  
  
"Well you said you didn't want a fight so it's a fight or poetry, or a fight following poetry!" Tweedle Red snapped at Dib, shaking his weapon in Dib's face.  
  
"Hmmm, fight following poetry sounds about right..." Tweedle Purple thought aloud, scratching his head with the Q-Tip.  
  
"I don't want a fight OR poetry!" Dib said quickly, he just wanted to get away from these two lunatics before he gets hit by one of their weapons and in extensive care. If there was such a place here.  
  
"Oh then what are we to do??" Tweedle Red whined, "I wanna do something! I didn't learn a poem for nothing you know!"  
  
"ALLRIGHT! Fine! Battle! Just... wait till I'm out of range." Dib was quick to dash behind a rock, why he didn't keep going is beyond me. Maybe he wanted to observe how Zim's race battled against each other. Tweedle Purple and Tweedle Red faced off, then, holding their weapons high they made a war cry, and began backing away from each other. Possibly for dramatic tension, I don't know. They kept backing up, backing up, backing up, backing up... Soon they were out of sight! Dib looked to where the other was stood, and scratched his head in confuzzlement. He had a feeling he'd be doing a lot of that today.  
  
"HIIII-YYAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Tweedle Red's voice screamed from where he was hidden, and soon he came dashing out of the jungle, his weapon high and was running as quickly as he could.  
  
"HOOOO-EEEEEE!!!" came Tweedle Purple, as he came dashing out as well, his weapon raised. Course, they were now very far apart and by the time they finally reached each other, they were so out of breath they stood there, swaying a bit. They suddenly leaned forward, helmets clanging and soon their bodies followed suite, and the two Tweedle Tallests were passed out on the ground.  
  
"...this is ludicrous.." Dib stated as he got out from behind the boulder.  
  
"My... my plan worked..." gulped Tweedle Red from his place under Tweedle Purple.  
  
"What, end up out of breath?" Dib asked, folding his arms, disgusted by the Tallest Tweedles.  
  
"Well... well yeah... get him all... tuckered out so... so we couldn't battle... cause, cause I don't like battles... I get boo-boos..." Tweedle Red replied, slowly getting to his feet after shoving Tweedle Purple off him.  
  
"Ah. How... Smart?" Dib asked,  
  
"Yes it was really." Tweedle Red replied, then soon Tweedle Purple got to his feet.  
  
"Ow, my toothache..." he muttered, putting a hand to his cheek.  
  
"So now this stupid fight's over, can I go now or what?" Dib asked, it was better to ask then just dash off like before, these two had found him again because of that.  
  
"Aw, you really don't want to hear my poem?" Tweedle Red's eyes brimmed with tears at the notion.  
  
"Aw now look what you done, you made him upset!" Tweedle Purple declared at Dib, handing Tweedle Red a tissue.  
  
"Oh jeeze..." Dib thought, but before he could respond the sky suddenly went from it's bright blue to a black. Distant thunder rumbled, and the ground started to shake as the wind picked up. Tweedle Red dropped his tissue and looked alarmed, as did Tweedle Purple.  
  
"Oh no..." both said at the same time, Dib did his best to stand upright, but soon ended up on his hiney due to the shaking ground.  
  
"W-what is this!?" he asked, even though in the back of his mind he had an idea what it was.  
  
"THE JABBERWOCKY!!!" the two Tweedle Tallest screamed, they then screamed like sissies and ran off, into the jungle leaving Dib to fate.  
  
"Oh no, oh NO!" Dib's memory flashed back to what he had seen of the Jabberwocky before, and what it had done to his jacket. Soon he was up and running, this time running was getting him somewhere and he was very thankful for that. The wind howled in his ears, and he then realised it wasn't wind. It was the Jabberwocky's breath, because it had a foul stench to it. So Dib kept running running running like a constipated wiener dog, when suddenly he found himself sitting down somewhere.  
  
Then there was a powerful crash of light and lightning...  
  
"What the?!" he cried out, when realising he was not only sitting, but he was in a dress. Victorian era dress, along with muff over his hands and a square hat on his head. The only response he got was from a distant voice getting closer,  
  
"Tickets, gimmie your lousy tickets! Tickets!"  
  


Oh what will Dib run into now he's in a dress?? Read on spoot heads!


	3. Chapter Three: Interview with Red King N...

Chapter Three: Interview with Red King Nny and a bug 

  
Dib then felt the presence of someone sat besides him, he turned his head to come face to face with a young man, dressed entierly in red. Well, probably the whole suit he wore was once a different colour, for it seemed to be dripping with a red substance, and Dib was already afraid to ask. The pale boy grinned at Dib, atop his head was a lop-sided crown. Wild, crazed eyes made Dib feel very uncomfortable, and he shifted in his seat, which was hard to do with the dress he wore.  
  
"You look _very_ nice." Said the young man, presumably a king or prince.  
  
"Uhrm…" Did really didn't know what to say, no one had called him 'nice'. Sure, idiot, big head, stink-worm etc. were some names he had been called, but never nice.  
  
"Where did you come from?" asked the young man, "And where are you going? C'mon, sit up straight, shoulders back, chest out! Be a pretty boy-girl thing and speak clearly!" Dib just looked confused, but got the idea this guy was royalty, so he did his best to do what he ordered. He explained he had lost his way, and was about to explain how he got there, when the young man interupted him.  
  
"I don't know what you mean by your way, big headed boy-girl thing, all the ways here belong to ME… but why did you come out here at all then huh? Huh??" the man poked Dib in the ribs, then blinked and put a hand to himself. "I'm the Red King by the way, Nny the Red King. You can call me Red King."  
  
"I… I'm Dib, you can call me Dib…" Dib replied, trying to fight the resist to bark back that he didn't own a big head – but this guy might have the power that the Queen of Hearts had, and he didn't want to have his head lopped off. "And…" he was about to answer, but the Red King put a hand to his mouth, smothering his mouth in the red stuff.  
  
"It's too late to answer now! I gots another question for you. How would you like to become a King-Queen thingie like myself and Steve the White King?" Red King asked, removing his hand from Dib's mouth. Dib was too spooked to find out what now made his face mesy, so just answered.  
  
"I.. I would like to be a King… then, then no one would ignore me, or think my information on Zim is all made up! That'd show them, they'd all bow to me and I'd get Zim jailed and autopsied on a table and have his guts all over the table and floor, and then I'd show them ALL!" Dib stopped when he realised he was now ranting, and coughed. "Yeah I'd like to be a King."  
  
"I thought so!" squeed the Red King. "Now listen carefully. "You're a Pawn, right now. But to become King, you have to move. I shall explain, but here, I'm just gonna be doing some measurements." The Red King got to his feet, and pulled a red-soacked knife from his pocket, and threw it across from them. It landed in the darkness, a scream was heard. Dib's hair stood on end, and with his scythe, you can imagine what that looked like.  
  
"I shall give you directions! You're a pawn. A pawn goes two squares in its first move, you know that! So you'll go very quickly through the Fourth Square – by this railway here!" at this, Red King threw what looked like a butchers knife into the darkness, another scream. He turned his head back to Dib. "I see by the look on your face you've been at Square Three, that was Tweedle Red and Tweedle Purple. Such charming fellows, they read poetry very well!" he threw again, what looked like a cahinsaw. Another slam, another scream, another turn back to Dib. "Anyway – once you get off this train you will find the Fifth Square is mostly water, you won't find the Tweedles there. They HATE the stuff!" he then threw what looked now like a simple butter knife, which caused the loudest noise and scream yet. "And the Sixth belongs to Squee, he's quite the funny little fellow, younger then you, he just loves siting on his roof with that teddy bear of his!" then he threw a scythe into the darkness, which made a small squeak. "Stupid mice. Anyway! Square Seven is all forest, however one of the Queens will show you the way, hopefully Red Queen, she's so NICE." Red King once again threw something, but this looked like a bomb, it landed, but didn't blow up. Dib now wanted to run, and quickly before it blew up. Red King turned his head back to Dib, grinning wildly, "By the Eigth Square… you'll be a King… and we shall feast all together and have FUN!"  
  
Dib couldn't help but scream, for at that moment the bomb went off, and the whole room vanished in a flash of white, black, red, and other assorted colours Dib couldn't point out. The little boy sat all scrunched up in a foetal position in his seat, but squeaked as he felt someone poke his side. He cautiously opened his eyes, to see he was in another cart now, and was being poked by a Train Ticket Holder, whose name tag red "Slabrankle".  
  
"Now then! Show me your ticket you little FREAK!" he said, looking at Dib. Then Dib heard voices, that of other 'people' sat in the cart with him.  
  
"Oh come on, don't keep the man waiting! You deny me freshmaker?! Oh the pitifulness that is existance…"  
  
"I… I don't have one…" Dib said in a frightened tone, freaked by Slabrankle's face. "There, there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from…I actually don't even know where I came from now." The confuzzled boy could just rant for now, trying to remember where he came from, but that memory seemed to be gone.  
  
"Don't make excuses! Do you have a problem with understanding the rules? Well? Do you? DO YOU?! You're meant to have a ticket! You should have bought one from the engine-driver!!" By now, Slabrankle was looking at Dib through a microscope, and then threw an opera glass. Then he said, "You're traveling the wrong way." Then he shut th window, and went away muttering about 'being there for his baby'.  
  
Dib binked in confusement, this place was giving him a bigger headache then the last place! Suddenly he looked across from him, to see a man who looked very similar to one of the Men in White Coats, but now his entire suit was made from newspaper.  
  
"So, young a child! You ought to know which way he's going, even if he doesn't know his own name!" sat besides the Man in White Newspaper Coat, was a stick figure. A very angry looking stick figure, who simply scrached his head.  
  
"Stupid elephants in box-office engine-room drivers pancreas wagging their banana bottoms, don't know alphabet!" he screamed, thus folded his arms and bit his lower lip. Dib blinked in confusement. Sat besides the stick figure, was a bug. A bug, which we know to be one that MiMi had used to attack Zim's base, but Dib doesn't know this. So it's just a bug.  
  
"He'll have to go back from here as luggage! Stupid!" he piped up. Suddenly, Dib heard a voice coming quietly from his ear.  
  
"I hope not… this red stuff tastes very nice…" said the voice. Dib turned his head to see who was there, but no one was there.  
  
"Oh nevermind those other people little boy thing," said the Man in White Newspaper Coat, who leaned over to Dib. "You can just get a return-ticket every time the train stops. That'd answer your problem."  
  
"I won't!" Dib said, shifting in his seat, freaked out by all the voices he could hear, and still disturbed by Nny the Red King from earlier. "I don't even belong on this train! I was in the forest before, then I met a King but I would prefer being back outside again." He explained, to be met by a blank stare from the Man in White Newspaper Coat.  
  
"You might make a joke on that," said the tiny voice Dib had heard previously, "Something about 'you would' or something… look I know you're a friend, you've given me so much nummy drink that's on your dress, and I know you won't hurt me, even if I am a lice." Dib's eyes widened as he heard what it was, but remained calm. For all he knew it could probably grow to gigantic proportions and eat him alive right now.  
  
"Oh, r-really?" asked Dib, the little lice was about to respond, but it was drowned out by a sudden loud screech of th whistle, making everyone jump, especially Dib who's nerves were already torn and stretched out of shape. Suddenly, the spooky-dog with the scar on it's head looked into the window.  
  
"It's only a brook we have to jump over!" it barked, and vanished again. Dib then remembered what Nny the Red King had said, this will take him into the Fourth Square, and that's good… suddenly he felt the whole train leap up, and tried to grab onto something, the nearest thing, was the stick man's single hair on his head – but it melted away as Dib grabbed a hold of it…  
  
Now Dib was sitting under a tree! And his clothes were back to normal, his usual trenchcoat, not-so-smiley face shirt, black slacks boots, glasses… and the lice was now sat on the ground besides him, and it was a very BIG lice now, the size of a small dog. Dib jumped in his seat seeing it sat there, and it was sucking on the dress Dib had been wearing.  
  
"…then you don't like insects at ALL?" asked the lice, throwing the now drained dress away, looking at Dib, which was hard seeing it was blind, and it somehow had dark sunglasses over where it's eyes would be.  
  
"Uh, I like them when they can talk…" Dib decided it would be best to avoid harm, even if it meant complimenting a blood-sucking lice.  
  
"You don't rejoice in insects do you? DO YOU?" the lice got up onto it's legs, glaring at Dib.  
  
"O-oh my, look at the time, I must be going now!" Dib got to his feet and ran off, he didn't care if this was rude or not, he didn't want to end up like the dress, drained of all colour including the red patches. He didn't dare glance over his shoulder either, to see if it was following. He passed a sign, he didn't see the sign, or the warning it read.  
  
"Warning! All those who enter this forest forget who they are and what they're all about, until you come out the other end that is. Duh!"  
  
Dib kept running, and eventually came to a stop. Where had he been running to, and why? He wasn't sure, heck, he wasn't sure what he was! He looked around where he was, he didn't even know where that was.  
  
"Hello?" he called out, surprised that he still knew how to talk. He started walking through the small woods, jumping at every sound and movement he heard or saw. Suddenly he saw a figure walking towards him, the bush in front of the creature parted, and there stood Zim. Normal Zim, green skinned, red eyed and in his uniform. The two stared at each other for a while.  
  
"…what do you call yoursef?" Zim asked gently, looking at Dib with what would be called large gentle eyes, if you can call his eyes that. His voice shown no anger, or resentment, and he shown no signs that he might attack Dib, and the same went for Dib to.  
  
"I wish I knew… nothing just now." Dib replied, scratching his head while looking at the green skinned person. Zim walked over the bushes, and walked up to him.  
  
"Think again then!" he said, but just received a blank stare from the human.  
  
"Uhrm… well could you tell me what you call yourself?" Dib asked, he might as well know what this thing was he was talking to.

"I'll tell you, but only if we keep walking." Zim replied, "I… I just can't remember here." He thus pointed at the ground where he stood, and Dib followed his finger – now looking at the oddly coloured green grass.  
  
"Okay." Dib replied. So the two walked together in the woods, not talking, but then taking each other by the hand as they walked. Possibly out of fear of the woods, or just for something to do. Zim and Dib continued walking along through the woods, then they came out into the open field, and out of the woods. At this, Dib and Zim both blinked, then looked down at their hands holding the other. Zim let out a petrified screech and let go of Dib, quickly backing away.  
  
"ARGH! I am the mighty Invader ZIM and _you_, stink bug! How dare you hold my iron fist of DOOM!" Zim yelled at Dib, but before Dib coul reply, Zim's pod legs activated and he quickly ran off. Dib stood there for a while, blinking.  
  
"…okay what just happened here?" he shrugged and turned to walk away, deciding not to follow Zim – considering what happened to him last time he did that, and he wanted to become a King. But then a sudden gust of wind began to howl, and a familiar stench filled the air. Dib's eyes widened with fear so much, you'd think his glasses would fall off!

"…Jabberwocky!" he cried, and quickly ran away from the woods, knowing that if he went back there he'd be back to square one again, so he ran, ran from Nny the Red King, the Lice, Zim, the Woods, and especially the Jabberwocky, but as he rounded a corner in the woods a shawl flew out of nowhere, and slapped him right in the face, knocking him onto the ground.  
  


  
Ooo who could the shawl belong to?! Will the Jabberwocky get his Dib-kabob? You shall see!


	4. Chapter Four: Pinpricks and Un-birthday ...

Chapter Four: Pinpricks and Un-birthday Gifts  
  
Notes: Sorry this ones so short, but I couldn't be bothered writing in what I had to.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib quickly yanked the shawl off his face, sitting up and turning around, expecting to see the snapping and gaping jaws of the Jabberwocky, but the creature seemed to have vanished as soon as it had arrived. He let out a sigh of relief, then realised the shawl must have belonged to somebody.  
  
"Hello?" Dib got to his feet, still holding the shawl. "Um, anyone here?" he began walking, carrying the shawl along. Suddenly he heard foot steps approaching, sounding very heavy indeed. Meaning, the person's probably big, waist wise. Then in another moment, the White King came running wildly through the woods towards Dib, his arms wide open.  
  
The White King looked somewhat familiar, as did everyone else Dib seemed to run into in this place. He had glasses placed on a round nose, long brown wavy hair hanging around his face, as well as a brown beard. Everything else he wore was pure white, with the crown on his head. Course, most of what he wore was crumpled, mis-matched and so on.  
  
"My shawl, my shawl! I earned that shawl, give it to me!" he yelled, and yanked it away from Dib. "Now, help me put it back on." He said gently, as if he hadn't said the first part to Dib at all.  
  
"If this guy's as dangerous as the Red King…" Dib thought to himself, and quickly tried to put it on the White King. The White King sat on the ground as Dib tried to put it on, which proved difficult since he'd never attached a shawl in his entire life. Dib then realised he hadn't said a word to the King yet,   
  
"Am I addressing the White King?" he asked, trying to sound polite, trying to cover up his confusement.  
  
"Well yes, if you call what you're wearing a-dressing." Said the King, pointing to Dib's jacket, "It isn't my notion of one at all… you're not one of those sexy people so I have no qualm with you, but if you call that a dress you obviously have a problem wrong with that big head of yours." Dib fell quiet, choosing not to argue with the King.  
  
"Well, maybe it'd be right if you could tell me how to do it properly. What's a man doing wearing a shawl anyway?" Dib asked, the King didn't seem to hear this.  
  
"Oh now now, I  don't want it done at all!" the White King replied, groaning slightly. "I've been a-dressing myself for the past two hours and I've still got it wrong!" The White King added. Dib thought it'd have been easier to have someone else dress him, since he was dreadfully untidy, but he'd never say that to a King. This one might have hidden weapons like Nny the Red King had.  
  
"Well everything's crooked… you want I should put your shawl straight?" Dib asked helpfully, he might as well be on good terms with another King if he was to become one soon enough once he reaches the right square. Dib then saw what a mess the White King's hair was in, the brown curls were all entangled and messy. "Your hair… don't you use conditioner?"  
  
"The brush got entangled in it." The White King replied with a sigh, "And I lost a comb in there last week." Dib quickly began straightening the White King, and managed to get the comb free at least.  
  
"There! You look… King-like. Yeah." Dib put his hands to his hips, pleased with how the White King looked more better suited to his Kingly duties now then before.  
  
"You know you do such a good job I'm hiring you as my gentlemans-maid. Two dollars a week, and tacos every other day." The White King got to his feet, Dib blinked in surprise. He couldn't remain a gentlemans-maid! He had plans to become a King, if he was forced to remain in this crazy place, at least he'd be in control of something!  
  
"I don't want you to hire _me_, and I  don't like tacos." He said gently, hoping not to anger the King and end up with a butter knife in the eye.  
  
"They're very good tacos." Said the King.  
  
"Well I  don't want any today." Dib said sternly, he had never cared for the Mexican food, always gave him bad gas.  
  
"Well you couldn't have any even if you did!" the King pointed his sceptre at Dib's chest, "The rule is taco's tomorrow and taco's yesterday, but NEVER taco's today." Dib blinked in confusion, stepping back to avoid being poked anymore.  
  
"That's crazy! It _must_ come sometimes to 'tacos today'…" he said.  
  
"No, it _can't_. It's taco's every _other_ day: today isn't any other day you know. Silly boy with a big head!" The White King then bopped Dib on the head with his sceptre.   
  
"OW!" Dib rubbed his sore forehead, "I don't understand anything here, it's too confusing, and my head hurts." Dib said.  
  
"Course it would, a head that size! But still, that's the drawbacks of living backwards. It gets you all messed up in the-OW! OW OWOWOW! ARGH! THE PAIN!! WHY DOES IT HURT SO?!?!" Din almost jumped a mile as the White King suddenly yelled loudly, and hopped on the spot for a little while.  
  
"What's wrong?! You're not going to spontaneously combust are you?!" Dib didn't want to get pieces of King splattered all over him, that's all he needed.  
  
"Oh not really, my finger's going to bleed soon. See, my brooch will soon come loose, and then it shall prick my finger." Dib was about to ask how he knew this, but the brooch did come loose, the White King fumbled and the needle pricked his finger.  
  
"…why not scream now?" Dib asked, looking at the blood dripping down his front.  
  
"Oh I've done that already." The White King replied simply.  
  
"Right…." Dib's shoulders slumped, how much does he have to go through until he's got power of a King? Who else does he have to meet, who'll push his brain to breaking point and hopefully he won't get head explodey. Suddenly he blinked, and rubbed his eyes, er, glasses. Was the White King suddenly wrapping himself in wool? And where did all these walls come from, and trinkets which look like squeaky toys of doom, Doughboys and other such weird things?  
  
Dib shakes his head, when he realises he's now stood in a store, full of doom-full goodies, like the Megadoomer stood behind him and sat behind a counter in front of him, is a sheep! A male sheep, who's kitting with his own wool.  
  
"Well, what is it that you want to buy lad??" asked the ram, eyes glaring through the glasses that sat atop it's nose.  
  
"Uhrm, I'm not all too sure yet…" Dib replied, worrying about his mental health since he seemed to be fading in and out of this world quicker then a moth flies in and out of a flame, course, that's before it's burnt to death.  
  
"Well look around then!! And no shop liftin' or I'll chop ya hand off." Said the ram gruffly, going back to knitting. Dib slowly backed away, and looked at the objects on the shelves. But the oddest thing was, whenever he tried to get a good look at something, the whole shelf would become empty, and all the others full! He managed to get a glimpse of some things which had his Father's face on it, Membrane Merchandise 'n all… also assorted Irken lasers, backpack-Death Ray (As not seen on TV!) boots, robot parts, even a pink bunny suspended in a jar of green goop was on the shelf.  
  
Dib looked back to where the Backpack-Death Ray was, and reached out to grab it, but just as he managed to grab it, the whole place faded away into nothing, then he felt his hand was on something, just not the ray. He then heard a shrill young voice cry out from above,  
  
"Shmee! Let go of Shmee!!" Dib quickly realised he was holding a very demonic looking teddy bear in his hands, it had been sewn up, and obviously seen better days. He then looked upwards, and there sat on the wall in front of him, which had just appeared, was a little boy, probably half Dib's age. His hair was black, and he already had a receding hair line, and looked very paranoid.  
  
"Who are-" he was cut off by the boy again.  
  
"SHMEE!!" Dib groaned and tossed the bear to the boy, who grabbed a hold of it and hugged it happily.  
  
"I guess… you're Squee." Dib remembered Nny the Red King mentioning a little boy with his teddy on a wall, and since he hadn't ran into anyone else, this was obviously the boy.  
  
"I'm Todd, but people call me Squee." Replied Squee, looking down at Dib.  
  
"Oh. Well, I'm on the way to become a King since Nny the Red King told me to become on, I've got to head to certain squares, and yours is one of them…" Dib would have continued, but the young boy stopped him again.  
  
"Don't chatter silly! Tell me your name!" Squee seemed ecstatic that he had someone to talk with, who wasn't disturbing him. Yet.  
  
"My name's Dib, but-"  
  
"Dib's a silly name!" Squee said happily, "What's it mean?"  
  
"Must a name mean something?" Dib asked doubtfully.  
  
"Course it does! Mine means… means.. little boy! Yeah that's it." Squee just hugged his teddy closer, and rocked back and forth.  
  
"Uh, don't you think you'd be safer down on the ground?" Dib asked, "the wall is very narrow…" he pointed out, that a brick had fallen off some time before and he could see straight through the wall.  
  
"Ooo no, cause if I did fall, the Red King Nny said that he'd send all his flesh-eating bed babies and skeletons to get me 'n make me all better! He's really odd, but nice in' a weird way. Shmee says he's evil, but Shmee's so funny." Squee giggled and tapped his teddy bear on the nose.  
  
"Least the bear's got the right idea…" Dib's mind flashed back to the crazed look in the Red King's eyes just before he threw the bomb.  
  
"Y'know Shmee was a gift!" Squee suddenly said, off topic all of a sudden. Dib blinked.  
  
"A birthday present?" he asked, he might as well talk to someone who seemed sane and normal in this place..  
  
"….wha? no! Shmee was an un-birthday present from the White King 'n Queen so there!" Squee giggled, "You're so silly Dib."  
  
"Wait, an un-birthday? What's that?" maybe this kid wasn't sane after all  
  
"A present given when it isn't your birthday!" Squee replied, as if Dib had asked if the sky was blue.  
  
"..I still prefer birthday presents…" Dib said at last, remembering back to when he got his jacket.  
  
"Yer silly Dib! How many days are in a year?" the little boy tilted his head to the side, resting it on his teddy.  
  
"Three hundred and sixty five." Dib replied.  
  
"How many birthdays you got?"  
  
"One."  
  
"If you take one from all that number, what's left?"  
  
"Three hundred and sixty four."  
  
"See? So you got three hundred and sixty four un-birthday presents to get! Shmee was one." Squee suddenly stood up on his wall, "'N I gotsa go cause the Red King said he wanted me at a party today to invite a new King to the land! So bye bye Dibs 'n I hope you have a happy un-birthday!" with that, Squee leapt out of sight!  
  
Dib stood there, scratching his head. So far, he had ran into Old Mouse and the lecture, Tweedle Red and Purple again, Jabberwocky a few times, the Red King Nny, a lice, Zim, The White King, the Ram, and now Squee… what else would be awaiting him once he started walking again?  
  
He wasn't sure, since he didn't walk. He started running, you know that feeling you get when you know something awful shall happen if you remain where you are? Well, Dib got one of those feelings as he felt the wind pick up again. So the little big headed boy ran, he kept running and running as the wind picked up, but then he ran into soldiers! Many many soldiers running through the wood, and soon he was lost in the vast sea of soldiers.  
  


  
  
Seems Dib's gotten into another spot of bother, let's see how he gets away from the soldiers of DOOM!


End file.
